AN OBBEY PRESCRIPTION

Pay attention, my health-conscious reader, because what Dr. Lip is about to prescribe could save your life.

You think I'm kidding? You think I'm going off on one of my rants to elicit laughter? Well, the good doctor says that can help save lives, too, but I'm about to give you some advice that you should eagerly take.

Why? Because this medicine doesn't taste bad and this procedure does not cause any pain. It's about adjusting your attitude to convince every atom and molecule in your body that life is wonderful.

My best buddy Ronnie and I call it "Obbey Ride." Obbey is short for obnoxious, because that's what we were back in the day when time moved so much slower and responsibilities were so few. Simply put, we got our way or we would make life difficult for the others in the group. I hope I don't have to give any examples because I won't on the grounds that I may incriminate myself, and even worse, Ronnie.

An Obbey Ride for the Obbey Brothers consists of jumping in my 2005 Avalanche with no particular destination in mind, tuning XM Radio to the Grateful Dead channel and cruising without caring where we end up.

We never go real far. We may be obbey but we are no longer obbey to our wonderful spouses, because they in turn could be very obbey to us and that wouldn't be pleasant at all. So, we tend to come home before the dawning of a new day, and we come home sober, with no police records and not even a dent in the Avalanche.

We look forward to these rides with great anticipation. Ronnie has been through several surgeries. He's dealing with other family issues. He needs the release.

I'm thanking God that my problems have been less acute, but the rigors of meeting deadlines and coming up with fresh ideas for stories and leads all the time can be draining. And I have my family issues, too, with a son who brings obbey to a whole new level previously beyond even the imagination of the Obbey Brothers.

So we drive. I drive. Ronnie drives. When we have to pee, we stop, and we're in our late 50s now so peeing often comes with the territory. We like our Dunkin' Donuts coffee so peeing is one of our favorite pastimes.

When we want to stop, we stop. When we don't want to stop, we keep going. When "Bertha" or "Me and My Uncle" or one of many Dead classics come roaring through my Bose speakers, we crank it up and bop to our heart's content. Nobody sees us so who cares. Oh, maybe the guy in the next car thinks we're crazy but we have a message for him that I just don't think is appropriate to print here.

We eat. We tend to end up at Pepe's Pizza either in New Haven or Manchester. We may find some seafood at Dino's in North Haven or down in Ronnie's hometown of West Haven. But we eat. I just wonder why he never gains any weight and I have to eat rabbit food for a month to lose a pound.

But the amazing thing is Obbey Rides have huge therapeutic value. They make us happy. For one day, they remove the stress from our lives and bathe us in the glory of reminiscing. Stress. there it is, dear reader, and that's the key to Dr. Lip's prognosis for the day.

Take your Obbey Ride soon. Call it whatever you want, but give your best pal a call and schedule one today. It goes a long way toward a happy, healthy life.

WHATTA DAY !!

What a day in sports!

My dedicated sports-fan wife Lisa and I rushed home from her mom's birthday dinner to catch the tip-off for the Celtics-Heat playoff game. I get to do the channel surfing so I bopped around the Comcast lineup.

Come to find out that Colorado Rockies pitcher Ubaldo Jimenez tossed a no-no against the Atlanta Braves. That makes it a rare day in itself.

In monitoring other games on mlb.com, I noted that the St. Louis Cardinals and New York Mets had quite the string of scoreless innings going. Would you believe 18?

Meanwhile the Celtics, pretty horrible through much of the game, made a nice comeback and were putting a wrap on Game 1 when a melee broke out near the Heat bench. Paul Pierce got dumped and was lying on the floor near the bench when the players started pushing and shoving.

Leave it to Kevin Garnett to say something. He got two technicals and was ejected. Miami has a new life with 4o seconds to go.

While the refs are trying to sort it out, I'm searching the Comcast lineup for the Mets game. It wasn't on SNY. It wasn't on CNX Ch. 9. The Comcast guide didn't help because the game should have been over four hours ago. Where the heck is it? I start going through the channels one by one when I discovered it was the Fox Game of the Week.

The Mets scored in the 19th and the Cards tied it up? No. And former Rock Cats pitcher Kyle Lohse is playing where? Left field? And a position player named Mather is pitching? What's wrong with that picture? Is the great Tony La Russa still managing the Cards or did he get two technicals, too?

The Celts and Heat finally started up and the Celts hang on. Great game for Tony Allen, Tommy points galore.

Back to the Mets. They score in the 20th and after 7 hours of baseball, the Mets win the damned thing.

And through all that. the Red Sox and Tampa are still going because they had to finish up the suspended game from Friday. Cool. More baseball.

And with the Stanley Cup Playoffs going, I'm sure something exciting happened there, but I don't give a hoot about hockey.